Blame it on the rain

In the past two weeks, I have been desperately searching for answers. There are so many questions rolling around in my mind. How can cancer continue to grow during chemo? Why Emily? Who can I blame for this mess? The answers hold little comfort, yet I continue to ask the questions.

Emily's surgeon did shed some light on my main concern. Was this new tumor missed in the first round of scans or did it just sprout fresh sometime in the past 3 months? Chances are, it was there all along. Because Emily is so young, her breast tissue is very dense and at the time of her original body scans, the tumor was indefinable. The doctors can only work with what they can see on the scans, so there is no one at fault for missing this little devil. Rats - I really wanted to sue someone!

How can the cancer continue to grow and spread during chemo? Unfortunately, chemo cannot kill a tumor that has already formed. It works only on cancer cells at a microscopic level. Once they create a tumor, the only thing that can even attempt to shrink or eliminate it is radiation. Bummer. Alas, this new information leads me to the conclusion that I have to stop searching for a culprit to blame and start focusing my energy into something more positive.

The little silver lining on the dark cloud of breast cancer is that Emily no longer has to have radiation therapy, according to the panel of experts who reviewed her case. We are relieved to hear that piece of happy news because Emily has such sensitive skin that we though radiation might be really unpleasant for her. We will take all the good news we can get!

The next steps in the process are surgery on Friday the 18th (yep, it got bumped by a day already), a month or so of healing time, then another 12 weeks of chemo. Please keep good thoughts and prayers coming her way this week, especially on Friday!